I am reading one of Dales Carnegie's bestsellers, when I found an old American journal that was reprinted in it. It really touched my heart and opened my mind. Thinking of sharing it here.
Oftens we as parents tempted to criticize our children. But before we criticize, please read this "Father Forgets", by W.Livingston Larned, a classic of American journalism, originally appeared in People's Home Journal.
Listen, son: I am saying this as you lie asleep, one little paw crumpled under your cheek and the blond curls stickily wet on your damp forehead. I have stolen into your room alone. Just a few minutes ago, as I sat reading my paper in the library, a stifling wave of remorse swept over me. Guiltily I came to your bedside.
There are the things I was thinking, son: I had been cross to you. I scolded you as you were dressing for school because you gave your face merely a dab with a towel. I took you to task for not cleaning your shoes. I called out angrily when you threw some of your things on the floor.
At breakfast I found fault, too. You spilled things. You gulped down your food. You put your elbows on the table. You spread butter too thick on your bread. And as you started off to play and I made for my train, you turned and waved a hand and called, "Goodbye, Daddy!" and I frowned, and said in reply, "Hold your shoulders back!"
Then it began all over again in the late afternoon. As I came up the road I spied you, down on your knees, playing marbles. There were holes in your stockings. I humiliated you before your boyfriends by marching you ahead of me to the house. Stockings were expensive - and if you had to buy them you would be more careful! Imagine that, son, from a father!
Do you remember, later, when I was reading in the library, how you came in timidly, with a sort of hurt look in your eyes? When I glanced up over my paper, impatient at the interruption, you hesitated at the door. "What is it you want?" I snapped.
You said nothing, but ran across in one tempestuous plunge, and threw your arms around my neck and kissed me, and your small arms tightened with an affection that God had set blooming in your heart and which even neglect could not wither. And then you were gone, pattering up the stairs.
Well, son, it was shortly afterwards that my paper slipped from my hands and a terrible sickening fear came over me. What has habit been doing to me? The habit of finding fault, a reprimanding - this was my reward to you for being a boy. It was not that I did not love you; it was that I expected too much of youth. I was measuring you by the yardstick of my own years.
And there was so much that was good and fine and true in your character. The little heart of you was as big as the dawn itself over the wide hills. This was shown by your spontaneous impulse to rush in and kiss me good night. Nothing else matters tonight, son. I have come to your bedside in the darkness, and I have knelt there, ashamed!
It is a feeble atonement; I know you would not understand these things if I told them to you during your waking hours. But tomorrow I will be a real daddy! I will chum with you, and suffer when you suffer, and laugh when you laugh. I will bite my tounge when impatient words come. I will keep saying as if it were a ritual: "He is nothing but a boy - a little boy!"
I am afraid I have visualised you as a man. Yet as I see you now, son, crumpled and weary in your cot, I see that you are still a baby. Yesterday you were in your mother's arms, your head on her shoulder. I have asked too much, too much.
Sunday, May 22, 2011
Thursday, May 19, 2011
What’s the biggest challenge for a working mother? Me, TIME! My job entails long hours in the office and outside, looking at sales numbers everyday, reports, meetings one after another, client calls..means, I get lesser time for the children. Anyway, I’m maybe a working mother, but I’m a mother first. I love my family so much (I think everybody did) and my children remain as first priority. Hence, I must make this juggling motherhood-a career work for me! Daily, on what I always do, it might not be the best, but I am trying my very best..
- In the morning, wake up early, prepare some quick breakfast for them. It could be peanut butter & jelly sandwiches, or hotdog, macaroni & cheese, or 'cucur ikan bilis', 'jemput-jemput pisang'..those are their favourites!
- Bath them, play bubbles..
- My hubby & I sent my kids to school every morning. 20 minutes drive to school is very valuable time spent with them by reciting Quran together, sing some Nasyid or some 'Akademi Fantasia' song! Or just talk, about Teacher Umi (Danish's favourite's teacher), or Aiman Farid & Aiman Feeraz(Khalis's best friends)..Sometimes we watch DVD in the car-Disney movies are the best!
- Kids off to school by 8am, still have sometime for me & hubby. On the way to office, we would stop by at the restaurant to had our breakfast, just the two of us..we always make sure that we car- pool together, so we had a quality time in the car, for us to laugh at the 'Kerinting 3 @Suriafm, or talk about our dream car, retirement plan, etc..Lucky our office is on the same route.
- Although I might be very busy with all the work, I'll make sure I made a quick phone call to kids when they're back from school. They are tired with all the things that happened at school, and our voice could at least soothe them..true, try it..
- Quick call again in the afternoon. Kids are waiting for you to comeback already. Just update them that you're on your way back!
- At night, pray & read Quran, check their school bags, assist them in their homework, read together until they're all tired and fall asleep..
All these, are easy to say, but this is where all the sacrifices and compromises come in. Hence, I always believe it is possible for a woman to be successful in career, and at the same time a great mother for the children..followed by 'Doa'..amin..blessed to all Mothers in the world..
|Quick 'snap', otw to school..|
|Smile Danish! One photo before going to school!..|
Posted by Aina Marwani H. at 9:22 AM
Monday, May 16, 2011
|Khalis in action!|
|Teachers of Raudhah & Hadhonah Adni|
Posted by Aina Marwani H. at 11:55 AM